Today I gave myself knowledge
I put on my reading glasses and purchased a book to teach myself about money. I've been listening to "The Dave Ramsey Show" on A.M. radio for years, but have felt completely blocked in the ability to do anything with the information he was teaching.
Finally, I feel like I can do something about my financial situation. I've always tried to work, and when that wasn't possible, I tried to learn. Usually, a health issue like my back problems, depression, and a few cysts in my uterus and on my ovaries caused me to stop what I was working on. Income dries up and I'm back to square one.
While I've always had some kind of financial support, i.e. Social Security Disability or a state issued welfare, I've tried to reduce my own feelings of guilt by working or learning. Some of this was due to boredom, but mostly I just have too much inner drive to settle for this lifestyle. When those support systems were taken from me, I was mad. Leave me destitute and on the verge of homelessness and I get mad. But, I wasn't just mad about the eradication of one of the financial legs I was standing on. I was mad that I let myself be one of the people who needed it, who depended on it, who counted on it always being there.
I started my working life when I graduated high school and continued to find low-paying employment of one kind or another throughout my adult life. Circumstances and allowing myself to be mired in other people's money problems always kept me barely able to feed myself, much less the families needs. The cycle repeated for years until I find myself suddenly 46-years old with no savings, no retirement, no clue.
It's time I concentrate and learn about the thing that scares me most... Money.
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